The Beauty of a Queen

(all photos taken from google.co.ke)

I feel sorry. I feel ashamed. The reason is the fact that our ladies never see that they are queens. They allow themselves to be insulted and abused, saying that it’s normal. They accept names which do not define them because it is what everyone is talking about as universally accepted.

Why am I so obsessed with this topic you may ask? I have a sister, cousins, nieces, aunties and ladies who are my friends. I at times ask myself what I would do if I caught anybody talking ill about them. I would protect them as much as I can, but what if the person I am trying to protect is the culprit saying she has already accepted it and I should mind my own business?

(deviantart.net)

One of my friends on Face book shocked me one day. When we were in school she was very strict and upheld her moral standards. She did not allow anybody including me to mess with her. I liked that and supported her. I knew that in this world where morality is no longer fashionable, there was still hope that there were pockets of people who knew their worth. One thing I wish every lady to know, men respect and love women who speak and stand for what they believe in. We might look scared of empowered women, but it is hard to marry a woman who looks ‘lose’ and will flow with the El Nino floods.

My friend recently took a picture with her friends. I liked the picture until I read the caption and was left astonished. She wrote “My friends and I, THOT things.” I accept the fact that she has the right and privileges to say whatever she wants. I am not judging her, but I am confused. People do change; it is a part of growth, but what happens next? She did not look like a THOT to me at all.

If you are to walk around town and met a girl with a really short mini-skirt, most likely she will be pushing the skirt down. This brings about the question why wear it in the first place? I am not judging her; her dress her choice. However, why should she be embarrassed of wearing it? Before she left home I am sure she looked at the dress and knew she would spend the better part of her day hoping she did not have a wardrobe malfunction and expose ‘too much’ than she already did.

While at school, there was one day in class when another lady came later than usual and sat at the front of the class. Her coming late and sitting at the front is none of my concern. My issue is that she had worn a small top. She was massively ‘blessed’ in the chest area. As an African man I can say I admire such. The only thing was the situation she had created. She kept adjusting herself whilst in class. The lecturer, being a man of integrity, had to keep moving to the back to avoid making any comments about her dressing. One could see he was very uncomfortable with the situation and had to end the class early, praying that in the next class she will have covered herself more. I am not judging her. I am asking myself if she knows that she is wonderfully and beautifully made and she does not have to show the rest of the world that she is.

As I was walking to get a matatu on another fateful day, I saw a lady who was more than 20 years my age. It is impossible to avert my eyes once I have seen something and the image becomes a challenge to erase. She was wearing tight spandex and I thought to myself “that looks like someone’s mother.” It was an uncomfortable situation for me. I felt sorry. I am not judging her. She has the right to dress in whatever she likes. Maybe she was going to a function and that was the dress code.

All these women I have talked about have their reasons as to why they want to dress, act and be called demeaning and degrading names. Society calls it normal. Most women who read this piece may get angry at me, but I will say I respect women who know what they want and respect themselves. I know that most of these women know what they are doing and some will say they are beautiful and comfortable with themselves, but the truth is most men today are not getting married for the fear of marrying a lady who has not set standards.

Men are very jealous creatures. If they see their women dressing in an ‘inviting’ manner for the infamous ‘Team Mafisi’ they are going to lodge complaints. This brings up the issue of relationship insecurities, divorces and domestic violence.

(macclean.ca)

Women need to be told they are queens. They should not stoop low for anybody. I am sure if there were no women twerking in clubs, they would be married by now with happy family lives. Dressing is very important, if a woman exposes herself too much and gets attention from men who want one night stands, then she should not complain there are no good men for her to get married to.

In the past around the 1980s women used to wear revealing clothes and they were not raped or called ‘whores’. Most men respected them and waited until marriage to make love to these ladies. One thing is important to note. Morality was a very important factor. Ladies were told they should not offer themselves freely. They read books and kept the purity to the end. Today, sex sells. Sex is sold everywhere and when people are talked to about it; they complain it is an infringement on the freedom of expression.

Most music videos put women in compromising situations and they are compared to property that has to be owned. They are called names and we do not see anything wrong with that. Intelligent women ‘bend over’ in clubs to men who just want to get in their pants. Socialites are coming up each and every day. Their main business is putting on sketchy dresses, wearing makeup and carrying the most expensive handbags. They have become escorts for old men who want to feel ‘young’ again. It is worrying that being a socialite has become a career that many young girls are looking forward to.

I believe that women are queens. They should be treated like that. They are intelligent people and they make the world go round. Without women this world would be dull and depressing. God gave women to us men for companionship and being our helpers in glorifying God and making this world a better place. Every man has interacted with a woman. We have mothers, aunts, nieces, girlfriends, wives, and friends who we have known and shared time with. We should give them respect and love them so that they can love themselves. I am sure most women act according to how other women and men react to certain issues.

The dressing could be a way to attract men because of loneliness. Accepting to be certain names could be  a way to say they are ‘cool’ and ‘easy going’ Dancing provocatively could be a sign they know what men ‘want’.    

I am not judging women or ladies who want to be fashionable, sexy and express themselves freely. Please let them do so. I just feel sorry they do not know their worth. Theirs is a beauty of a queen; they just need to embrace it.

please watch the following video (source:Facebook.com)

https://www.facebook.com/nolocreocom/videos/1116897268335311/