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I am not crazy


(Borderline Personality Treatment Website)

Martin is back home. He stands outside the door. He thinks about what he just heard. He is angry. He is sad. He is confused. He opens the door and meets Sally who has been waiting for him.

“So how did it go?” She asks.

“Well, they told me I was crazy. Me? Crazy? How? Why? When? Where? As in, we are Africans, we cannot be going around and telling people that I am crazy. The doctor had the nerve to ask me to stay at the hospital, so that they can treat me. What absolute nonsense.”

He begins to break down, “I am not crazy. I am not mad. Why would they tell me that? Yes, I am not normal, but I am not crazy. It is so unfair.”

Their son, Isaac, comes into the room. “Dad, are you OK?”

“Of course I am OK. Why would you ask that? Do you think I am crazy too?”
Sally cuts in, “Martin please calm down.”

“OK, OK. Leave me alone.” He pauses for a bit. “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I just can’t believe I was going to be admitted for being ‘crazy’. I have lived all this while just to be told I am crazy. I know you guys are ashamed of me. You do not love me anymore now that I am crazy.”

Sally tries to calm him down. “Listen sweetheart, we love you no matter what.”

“You are just saying that to make me feel happy. You are just going to leave me as soon as you get the chance. You will then tell people I was crazy and you couldn’t live with me. All because I’m bipolar. It is the reason why you suggested I go to Mathare, a mental institution. You thought I was not normal enough. You thought I was crazy. Do you think I am crazy? You must have. Nobody wants to care of the crazy person.”
“Dad. Why are you talking like this? Mom. What is wrong with dad?”

“Go on Sally.” He starts crying. “Tell our son that his father is crazy, just like that doctor.” He storms off to the balcony. They follow him, scared he might do something extreme. He climbs over the railing and threatens to jump from the fourth floor of their apartment.

“Martin! Martin! STOP! Listen to me. You are not crazy. STOP! DON”T JUMP!”

“Sally, what am I doing on the balcony?” Martin asks. "Am I crazy?"


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