Parking 101

(All photos courtesy of Google)

(This is a fictional story)

I never love driving because of the drama on the roads. I always feel uncomfortable with the crazy drivers on the road, the police officers who will never listen to your excuse until you are in court and the horrible state of the roads which are fixed once in a million years like the Solar Eclipse phenomena. I don't have my car yet so I borrow wherever I can get in times of emergencies or when I am going close by. After this day I promised myself never to buy or borrow another car, lest I send someone to an early grave (I am not this cold).

On this particular day I had borrowed a four by four 'machine'. I was going to class and I was a bit late. If I had taken a chance at our public transport I would have reached the next month. Worse still I had a class presentation which accounted for a big chunk of my final grade. I had to pass. I called my best friend and he was more than willing to lend me the vehicle.

Japtor College, Japtor road was where my school was located and it would take me 15 minutes through dark alleys and rough roads to reach my destination. I was happy I knew those cracks and crevices since I arrived around the time I was supposed to. I found the school parking  was full meaning I had to park on the opposite side of the road. I found some space, parked the car and ran to class like a wildebeest only to find the lecturer was running late. He should have borrowed a car like I did, just saying.

He came, I presented and then the class came to its scheduled end. It was dark already and I needed to go home. I would park the car at my house and return it the morrow in the morning.

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However, there was one problem, I could not see the car. Moreover, it seemed like I could not remember where I had parked it. I passed and crossed the road five times, going back and forth looking for the car. I was distressed, shivering and felt like I would faint. That car was not cheap and it belonged to my best friend's parents who were out of town. I could not refund them not unless they sold me as a slave. Tears began trickling down my eyes. I was always too careful and too cautious, it was only a matter of time when I would make my first mistake.

I became hysterical. Maybe I should call my friend, maybe I should report to the school, maybe I should ask for assistance from our 'friendly' police, maybe I should talk with the native locals and find out who discovered the vehicle and decided to keep it 'safe' for me, or maybe it had an invisible cloak that I needed to feel it first so that it could reveal itself.

I slapped myself hard. It was not easy. My body was not ready for that kind of punishment, but it worked. I remembered where I had parked the car. I had spent a whole hour, walking around for no good reason, looking in the wrong place. I just slowly walked to where it was and lo and behold there it was. Unfortunately it had some uninvited guests, or I did not receive the memo.

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"Excuse me, what is going on here?"

"This car has been wrongly parked."

"What do you mean wrongly parked?"

"It is 10 cm where it should be actually parked."

" 10 cm? I do not follow."

"The owner parked it 10 cm to the left of the white parking line, moreover, he or she blocked others from parking here."

"You are kidding me right?"

"No, I am no....wait are you the owner."

"No, but I am responsible for it."

"We have been looking for you. We have even instructed the police to carryout investigations on the owner."

"Well the owners have traveled. I am the one driving tonight. Our school parking was full and I saw this space as it was and parked there."

" Well first of all you should borrowed permission through the school to park here and second you have parked wrongly, so I am going to have to ask you to accompany me."

"Wait, wait, wait. This is a public parking right?"

"No, it is not."

"Really? So why did my lecturer, who is just leaving, park here?"

"He had requested permission to park here."

"Wow, did you know I was seated at a window overlooking this parking? I saw him park and leave for class without interacting with anyone. So what he wrote an early message that he was going to park here?"

"I am not sure about that, you can ask him yourself. All I know was that he had permission to park there."

"He he, madam... (heavy breathing) I know that this is a public parking because that sign, right there, says so, and it adds that anyone with a car can park without discrimination or monetary compensation to anyone, so please find another charge."

"Well sir, there is a new bill that has been passed that public parking are closed and will be open to citizens who borrow permission."

"Oh my...NKT! As in, are you serious right now? I have just spent an hour looking for this car, and here you are telling me I need permission to park? Who do you think you are?"

"I am your best friend's friend. You are on a hidden camera show called, 'How angry can you get?' and today it was your turn."

Homer and Apu-The Simpsons Season 5