(all photos courtesy of Google).
The world is evolving. Time is
changing. Women are gaining power. Men are seated, watching, waiting for their
turn.
In the 90s and early 2000s all
campaigns were directed at ‘empowering the women’ Do not get me wrong, women
were mistreated and suffered under the tyranny of men and their egos.
UNICEF created the International
Day of the Girl to help end the circle of violence against adolescent girls. It
is celebrated on the 11th of October annually.
Education was the major concern
and center of debates, and the United Nations felt that it had serious impacts
on human and economic aspects of society.
Girls worldwide were forced to
cook, clean and do other house hold chores while their male siblings went to
school and received care and attention from parents. Girls were seen as a curse
while boys were seen as a blessing. Men felt proud having a boy while
mistreating the poor mother for having a girl. Something needed to change. Girls
needed attention and respect as much as the boy child. Girls needed to know
they mattered.
In the olden days and even today
there are stories of girls in adolescent age being married off to older men in
order to pay a debt or because that is what girls are useful for. As a man, I
don’t think I would accept being married off to an elderly lady. There is no
future. I would be bored and would try to look to my peers for support.
In truth Girls suffered. It was
time for change. It started off as a campaign and then it became an
international slogan, “Empower the Girl Child.”
The world concentrated so much on
the girl, the boy was left aside. Growing up I was taught to respect girls and
treat them nicely. I have never deviated from that and treat girls as nicely as
I can. The girl was now challenged to take up the mantle, because they were now
on a similar level as the boy.
Nobody saw what was coming.
Nobody anticipated the fact that the boy child would just sit back and watch as
the girl grew. We still have issues in some parts of the world, but the people
of the world had achieved their goal of protecting and empowering the girl
child. Do not get me wrong, I am loving the empowered girl because I know they
reason better and are intellectual. They can challenge men and give them a run
for their money. But men didn’t, we just sat back. Now more than 20 years have
passed and still no one is seeing the danger that has been built up.
The Story of the Nyeri Women
If you come to Kenya, Nyeri women
are the most talked of as being too aggressive. These women took it upon
themselves to discipline their men and who would blame them? The men engaged in
drinking sprees and neglected their husbandly duties. Why marry a woman and
have children if you can’t even take care of yourself?
The country was enraged and
scolded Nyeri women for trying to bring their men into shape. Nobody bothered
to understand why. All Nyeri women were tagged and they still suffer
discrimination even from fellow women.
I applaud their ‘macho’. A
research carried out in the region showed there were very few pupils in primary
school. If there are very few children, what about the future of that
community? Will we forever lose the Nyeri people’s culture? Who will take care
of the community once the men become old? Who will they leave their legacy to?
As Kenyans we took the comic part of it and
forgot there was a real problem. Men were absconding their duties and engaged in
activities that would never help them. I am not against people having fun. We
all need to blow off steam once in a while, not making it a profession.
Drugs and Alcohol abuse
There are so many clubs in
Nairobi today. Every corner you turn along the Nairobi streets you will always
meet a pub or a club blasting loud music to attract customers. If a survey was
carried out today, I would be sure alcohol consumption rate would have gone
through the roof. This even when there are the infamous “mututho laws” and the “breatherlyser”
(Alcohol level detecting gadgets). Nothing seems to stop Kenyans and our
love for booze. Some have even gone to the extent of mixing chemicals to get a
real ‘kick’ only that it has led to death and other complications. Weed and Miraa (khat) have become the most abused drugs today.
Because of the over dependence of
drugs and alcohol, youths have taken to the streets to mug people of their
money and ‘expensive’ phones to fund their addictions. The worst part is that the
‘trade’ is purely male dominated. Kenya’s security is worsening even after the
passing of the security bill in 2014. Everywhere you turn in Nairobi it is
possible to see and identify thieves who have either hidden a knife in the
trousers or a gun. There are rumors that they work with police and that is why
they are not afraid. The weapons; those are to protect them from civilians who
will lynch them as punishment. Kenyans do not love thieves.
Gangs have been formed and youths
have joined terrorists so that they can get easy money. They could care less
for their lives, their loved ones or the innocent they hurt, they just want
money and they want it fast.
A story was covered on television
concerning the youth of Embu and how they were dropping off from school to make
money from selling Miraa. The fact; it
was mostly the male children leaving school. Some grew their own vegetation
while others stole from their neighbors to live the easy life. In Kenya people
go to school, read hard, pass and then make money, but here the school was cut
off and the youth went straight for the money.
Miraa/Khat
The life of the rich and famous
Kenya became the fifth largest economy
in Sub-Saharan Africa on the 30th of September 2014.We woke up to the news that we had become richer
than we were the day before (WorldBank.org). In real sense, the country’s GDP
rose, but it did not change anything. We still have large slums and people
living under a dollar a day. There are many unemployed youth who have no source
of income or direction of their future.
This has enabled criminal gangs
to develop as terrorists find new breeding grounds and followers.
I am not bashing Kenya. We are
richer and we deserve it, but what about the gentleman who walks for more than
an hour to industrial area to find money for food and education for his wife
and children? What about the student who has just left university and cannot
get a job? What will happen to this country if we do not have a source of
revenue to sustain the middle economy status we have acquired?
Is it me or has everything become
about money? Every time I watch a music video, I see a lady shaking her waist,
a really expensive car and a luxurious house in the background. Subliminal
messages seem to indicate that if you do not have money you do not have a life.
With the power of the internet, these messages have reached the poverty
stricken areas and they now ‘work’ extra hard to get extra money, no matter
what it takes or whose life is lost. Male adolescents are taking pictures of
their ‘stash’ and posting them on social media to be seen as kings to their
peers. Having as much money as you can means you will get more respect.
The boy child has become lazy and
are trying to get as much money as we can. Some even try to get into politics
because it has become a lucrative business. The problem is that nobody cares
and everyone wants to ignore. Mugging, robberies and carjacking have become so
common in Kenya, it is a way of life. If you report a case you are told to move
on, ‘it happens’
The Kenyan youth, joining the
terrorist groups, are people who have no direction in life and are looking for
quick money. This a reason why they are ready to be converted to Islam without
necessarily knowing the religion and its details. The terrorist have used this
vulnerability and urged more to join to engage in a 'religious war', which in
the Kenyan case is non-existent. We tolerate every religion and thus they have
failed. You cannot wage war with people who have no hate for each other, you
just look foolish as you kill innocent people who have done nothing wrong to
you.
Men are no longer going to school
It is a shame really. In the 80s
and 90s schools were dominated by men, now they are dominated by women. I am
not saying it is wrong for women to go to school, but who are they going to
marry? People who have not gone school? Who will a lady with a PHD actually get
married to, if a doctoral class of 20 has 16 women and 4 men? True, it is time
for women empowerment but how will they reason with egos that are ignorant and
have no education?
Men have always been considered
the strongest and we are needed to provide support and protection for the
family. Women are more reasonable and always know what they want. An uneducated
man is like a chicken whose head has been cut off, it has no direction. How
will we change our situation if we as men sit back and not help our country
grow? We have grown into cowards, sitting back, instead of working together
with the women to build ourselves. We still have the slave mentality that ended
more than 50 years ago, where we just sit back and wait to be told what to do.
We have no vision and no purpose in life. We are walking shells of what we once
were.
I am not saying I am perfect. I
have an educational background, but I do not want to work. In undergraduate I
had no idea of what I was going to do. However, with education there is a sense
of reasoning. You get to know things, understand more and think rationally. I am
now doing my masters and want to start my own company.
Though really, there are people
who have gone through education and are worse than they were. Employers are
complaining that some people have the certificates, but lack the skills and the
knowledge to execute the work properly.
I think the reason could be lack
of mentor ship. People today only want the best paying jobs and thus refuse
mediocre jobs. A graduate from a university wants to be paid 40,000 shillings
and above and would reject anything lower than that. Not even working for
20,000 in order to gain experience.
For me I want to finish my school
first. Working while reading is a bit difficult. Not most employers would
understand that you want to leave work early to go to school to do a
presentation when you have a board meeting at the same time. So to keep myself
busy I have helped open a company with my cousins, though we are yet to start
officially.
Education would help those
gentlemen gathered under a tree waiting to be called for work to think about
starting up their own businesses and doing something worthwhile. We are always
ready to blame the government, yet we do not challenge ourselves to do
something on our own. I am not saying that the government should not be held
responsible because they promised the people jobs, I am just saying let us show
the government that as we wait for their jobs we can do something.
There are a lot of opportunities
even as we move to the digital era. Television stations are required to have 60
percent local content, where are they going to get that from? There are at
least 63 television stations equaling to a lot of employment opportunities, not
only acting, but technical equipment, distribution, they will need food,
transport, locations to shoot, guides to the best locations, costumes, designs,
content, audience and even support to make the shows reach international
levels.
Men can start businesses,
education is just a boost to gain knowledge on the best business practices. It
is time for men to step up and make a fair contribution to the society as the
women are trying to do. It is a shame that women are becoming better, there
should be a balance. We are always fighting for equal rights, however, equality
does not seem to be working. We concentrate so much on one side we cannot see
the other side dying
Marriage
In real sense I do not know if I
will marry. I want to, and I would love to. The past few years I have been
listening to women explaining how they have 4 children while married and none
of them are the husbands'. In this day and age there are so many divorces and
separations, I ask myself, why I should go through such pain. And another
problem I have, there are so many women to choose from. I want this one,
tomorrow I want that one, the next day there is another and so on. I get
conflicts and turmoil within myself to choose one. Each and every one has their
good and bad.
It is evident, there are more
women than men. I have always told my friends, a day will come, women will be
looking for anything that resembles a man. No matter what they will stick to
them, even if they are abusive, even if they are uneducated, even if they do not
love them, they will do everything in their power to hold on. There are so many
examples today of relationships that are so horrid you ask yourself why they
are so blind. They wait until the relationship grows stale, yet there were
early indications that the relationship was heading nowhere. Men are getting
into relationships only to have fun, while women look at a bigger picture and
have long term goals.
Kenya recently passed the
marriage bill in 2014 allowing men to marry as much as they want. Women complained,
but it was strategic according to me. It is important to understand that yes,
women cannot marry as many men as they would want because they are few. Some would
say the argument is unfair, but let us be realistic. Men are no longer
marrying. Most young men have vowed not to marry, simply saying they fear the
modern woman. Women will be left to ‘run the world’. As much as a woman would
deny it, they need men for support, love and care. Men and women complement
each other, no wonder lonely people usually die the youngest, while couples
live longer.
If I marry I will keep to one
wife, I have never known how to multitask, loving two women might be too
laborious, but if I can why not.
Conclusion
all said is the truth
ReplyDeleteTruth has to be spoken so that we can save the future generation
ReplyDelete